The Letter

The past few years I have really focused on working thru past traumas and realizing I'm a daughter of God. Sometimes we lose sight of the fact that we have a Heavenly Father that loves us more than we can ever know. I don't think I really understood this until recently, like really took the time to understand this. For a long time I felt lost, confused, and just really down all the time. I thought this can't be it, this can't be the life I lead. I loved being a mom and a wife but I just couldn't get it together how I wanted. I wanted to feel joy, peace, love, and happiness. I couldn't figure it out until I got on my knees and pleaded to God for help. I decided that if I wanted to change how I felt then I needed to work on it and put effort into it then God could certainly help me along the way. Since deciding this for myself I believe that things have gotten much harder and more challenging in many ways. I had to face head on things that were hard and difficult and I didn't want to do it. I was so ready many times to throw my hands up and say forget it but I didn't and I pushed thru. If I want to be happy then I need to do the work. Now don't get me wrong I have had so many wonderful joyous moments in my life but if you have lived thru trauma half of your life then it takes a tremendous amount of work to get passed them and to be able to let them go. Its not easy and you are not alone in your trials I can attest to that. The mighty miracles that I have experienced lately are more wonderful and joyful than I can express into words.  Over a year ago I felt a prompting to write one of the 12 apostles Elder Jeffery R Holland and I always had the thought come into my mind that no way am I going to bother him, I can work all this out on my own. The prompting never left and recently I finally said "OK" and sat down prayerfully and wrote him a letter. I just expressed my gratefulness to him and his service and a little bit about my life and trying to work thru letting go and forgiving. I received a letter back from Elder Holland just 2 weeks later and it was one of the happiest days of my life. He gave me wonderful encouragement and I felt love, compassion, and tenderness from him. I felt the Saviors love for me thru this letter. I didn't mind if nothing came of the letter I sent and I thought I was just doing my part in following thru with a prompting I was trying to ignore. Im so incredibly grateful and I know without a doubt that I'm not alone in anything that I'm trying to achieve. I will follow thru when I receive a prompting( this I have learned).
Look this up:
Book of Mormon
3 Nephi 27:29

School is in.....

Back to a schedule, I particularly don't like schedules. I love summer to come and go as we please. But it is good to get back into a routine and the kids like routine. This summer we went to Arizona to witness a best friends beautiful daughter get married and we swam A LOT (I love swimming and can't get enough of it). Then we ripped out all flooring in our home and spent the whole summer installing new flooring. Not Fun! Then we filled in with movies, swimming, and playing. I was surprised with not doing much this summer but it was actually nice to take it easy. All my kids wanted to do was go to Utah, they love Utah like their momma. So future Utah trip in the works

The Orange Box

Our daughter hid a box for me. A big orange shoe box full of hand written letters wrapped in black thread and a trinket box with a beautiful necklace for me. It has about 4 months worth of letters that she numbered for me to open every day. 

This is possibly the best gift I have ever recieved. Im so overhelmed with joy that she thought of me. She knew I would miss her greatly and it would ease that with these letters. What is wonderful is that she has some that are spiritually fullfilling  and then some that are so funny. Its so great! Todays letter was pretty awesome, it was all about how God has a plan for each and every one of us. If we are here then he has a path for us and its up to us to come unto Christ and be guided. It is possible and its never to late to do this. It was what God wants of us. To pray to him and feel the love our Savior has for us. 
Here's a great scripture to look up
3 Nephi 12:44 Book of Mormon

Lead me guide me

Theres a children's primary song called 

Im a child of God

I love it and the lyrics are so true and direct and a great reminder

I am a child of God

and he has sent me here

has given me a earthly home 

with parents kind and dear

lead me guide me

walk beside me

help me find the way

teach me all that I must do 

to live with him someday

Those words are just so great and meaningful

Do you realize in these short lines we are told how get thru are days here on earth. 

God desperately wants us to live with him again

To be able to do that we must endure until the end

gain strength from our trials

serve and love one another

and be faithful 

Sounds  easy right

not so much

I think its the hardest thing ever to endure and have faith

But.........

Its oh so rewarding if we do

I have found that if I faithfully study the scriptures

pray with all my heart

that I can endure with the Savior by my side

I have felt that I have been in complete darkness and so alone

I thought there was no coming back from feeling this anguish

but I know without a doubt that my Savior Jesus Christ never left me

He's always been there for me.....waiting

Look up 3 Nephi 12:19 in the Book of Mormon

Goodbye for now

Its strange having a missionary leave to serve a mission. Our daughter will be gone for 18 months and we will get to email each other and write letters and Skype for mothers day and Christmas. 

Its strange in a way that you want them to desire to serve God and get out there in the world but then when its time for them to go its very hard to let them go. 

Im so incredibly happy for Julia and I love that she made this choice. I do miss my best friend and shopping buddy. 

She made me laugh everyday and she still does in her letters. I love that! 

 Going to the Los Angeles Temple with Julia was so wonderful

That is such a special time and I will always remember the special moments we shared

Grandma Holbrook came out to share this special time

All the family that came to church to listen to Julia's farewell talk. This was a great day surrounded by love and excitement. 

A couple days later it was 4:00 am and we headed to the airport. Mike and I actually were allowed to go back to her gate to wait with her. When several other missionaries showed up to wait on the same flight Julia looked at us and said "ok if you want to go you can" So I knew that it was time.

I gave her the biggest hug ever and walked away to cry. 

6 months later...............

How did 6 months go by so fast! Wow so much has happened in that amount of time. So much for keeping up on my blog. But being a busy momma it happens. 

Our daughter turned in her mission papers and when she received them in the mail she was to report in 5 weeks. 

We took a trip to Utah to get her everything she would need for Idaho Falls. 

I love Utah and I didn't want to leave. Its beautiful there especially the mountains and there is so much to do. 

 This pizza place by Dixie college was AMAZING it was seriously so good and there bread sticks were huge and delicious.

 Yummy!

 Going to Temple Square and seeing Salt Lake Temple was beautiful and the weather was perfect. 

We were on our way home and we were at the 8 hour point when Isabelle just about had enough and entertained herself. She finally fell asleep with only a hour left of the trip. 

This trip with my girls was so fun and we got to see friends that we haven't seen in a few years. I will miss this precious time with my kids. 

Christmas Day!

 Christmas Morning!

Excuse our crazy messy house while we enjoy the morning festivities

that include me telling my kids to clean up the aftermath

but.....they are to distracted with all the nerf guns and start a war!

I'm trying to remember who started the nerf war and I think it was Logan

He was hilarious with his sneak attacks and pretty soon everyone joined while I watched and took pictures because you know who still feels sick.

 Mikey took one to the eye but it still continued on for awhile.

I loved it!

So fun

 Ok when Mikey and the kids got home from his sisters house for Christmas dinner Mikey showed me a gift that his sister Donna and her hubby Jeff made us.

This is so freaking cool and I was blown away with the amount of work Jeff put into this piece.

The American Flag!

 I could hardly wait for Mikey to hang it up

These pictures don't do it justice

the texture and feel of the wood it is incredible

I'm so excited and grateful for this and I will treasure it.

Thank you Jeff and Donna!